Asking Myself Why…

I have been struggling with something lately.  Well, struggling is not quite the right word. Perhaps I mean that I have been wondering about something lately, frustrated even. My brother – the man who molested me when I was so young – why do I keep wanting his approval? Why do I keep trying to … More Asking Myself Why…

Finding Brave

“The bravest thing I ever did was run.” These lyrics to a song by Little Big Town have really struck my heart. I have never felt in my whole life that running away was ever the right thing to do… until I had to do it. But I never thought of it as brave – necessary maybe, … More Finding Brave

A Decision Made

This saying really touched me, although I don’t think it’s really about winning. Family is such a precarious thing. What’s the saying – family is family?  This is true but it doesn’t exist in a capsule free and separate from trauma, selfishness, or boundaries being inexplicably and cruelly crossed. I believe, somehow after everything, that … More A Decision Made

This Christmas….

This has not been a banner holiday year for me. I am trying to wear the smile and trying to feel the holiday spirit, but it is eluding me thus far. There is just so much this year: continued estrangement from my son, family issues, health issues, the first anniversary of the loss of our … More This Christmas….

On The Way Down…

I need some emotional support this morning, my friends. I am in a dark place. It has come on rather suddenly, as in the last few days.  I figure the holidays have something to do with it but I feel it worse right now than in many holiday seasons past, since all the family drama. … More On The Way Down…

Truth & Lies

There is something that has been on my mind for years now and it just came up again yesterday.  Here it is – why is it so hard for people to believe the truth, yet they will accept lies so willingly? Allow me to explain. Years ago, before all the family drama and estrangements, my … More Truth & Lies