Welcome to my blog! My story started at the age of 6 years old when my brother started sexually molesting me; he was 12 years older than me. It may have started before that but my first memories are from then. He stopped when he got married and moved away 3 years later. When I was 10, my father started molesting me. I told my mother a couple weeks later (about my brother years later) and basically my family covered up both. Although the abuse had stopped, I was forced to “stay” a family and I grew up with them all as if nothing had ever happened. My family protected the abusers and not the victim.
I got pregnant at 18 and had a son. I broke off the engagement with his father half way through my pregnancy – it turned out that we were so very wrong for each other and I didn’t want to put my child through an inevitable divorce. One night during my pregnancy, all the details of the incest came rushing back. I hadn’t forgotten; I had just never dealt with it; apparently pregnancy can sometimes bring it all out. I started crying and couldn’t stop. After having my son, I fell into what my doctor said was postpartum depression combined with PTSD of starting to deal with the abuse of my childhood. I won’t go into the details on this page but this started a chain of events in my life that ultimately almost broke me. It brought me to varying levels of estrangement from my parents and siblings, and even my son. And in the midst of it all, my father died unexpectedly. But in a black hole of pain, I somehow fought my way out and have begun the path to healing.
We all experience tragedies in life, some more than others. I know I feel like I have had more than my fair share. This blog will share my experiences, explore each further and hopefully open up a comment forum for others to join in the conversation. I am no one special – I am just a woman who has been to hell and back, and who always wished there was someone out there who could truly understand.
I felt so alone for so long but I know there are people everywhere struggling with these issues. Whether you just want to comment or want to share your story, this site is here to offer mutual support. My hope is that we can all help each other!
Please – keep your comments kind as you never truly know what someone else has been through, what frame of mind they are in or what led them to where they are; we all handle, say and do things differently in the face of trauma. I want this blog to help people, not destroy them. Let’s all be kind to one another.