Sometimes it’s the little things that move us forward. Something amazing happened the other day. Well, perhaps amazing isn’t the correct word, perhaps it was just more ‘unexpected but welcome’.
I was born and raised in Northern California. As most of you know, last week that area was devastated by massive fire storms, my hometown area, three counties, was part of that storm. It has been difficult to live so far away while all that is happening to those I know and love. One of those people is my sister, Sharon, and her family. They had to evacuate quickly as fire bore down on their home. If you have read my blog, you know that my sister and I are heavily estranged – she and our other sister did some cruel things to me over the last 8 years. However, I have done a lot of processing and healing, and have come to a better place in my life. But, I certainly never imagined reaching out to Sharon for ANY reason. I have forgiven but forgetting is more difficult. But there I was, the morning I woke up and my Facebook page was inundated with posts about fires back home. I prepared to go to work that morning as I watched the news and thought of my sister. It didn’t take long for me to realize that even though she had hurt me terribly, I had to find out if she and her family were okay.
I text her and I honestly did not expect a response, especially after her behavior at my son’s wedding 2 years ago, the last time we saw each other – she ignored me and my husband the entire time. (It was quite the childish display). To my surprise, she text back that they had evacuated and that the fire had come within 100 feet of their home before changing directions. I expressed my relief and told her that even though our relationship has been strained, if she needs anything, I am here. She responded with a ‘thank you’.
The exchange felt good. Even though I am sure it won’t lead to any reconciliation, at least it was a positive interaction, the first in 8 years. As far as reconciliation, I have reached out, so the rest is up to her now, and I am okay with it either way it goes. If nothing comes of it, that’s okay. If something does, that is okay too – I could just never fully trust her again. But I have come far enough in healing that I could handle a lighter relationship; we don’t have to be as close as we once were. I will admit it would be a nice thing to have the family whole again, on any level.
It was a small surprise – me texting her and her responding. It may not seem like much but it lessened the bitterness and burden just a little. And sometimes, that is everything.