What if I asked you what you consider to be the most powerful words in this life? Would it be, “I love you”? Would it be, “please”? What if I told you that the words I consider most powerful are “I’m sorry” and “thank you”? So simple, yet the hardest words to say and often the words hardly ever truly heard. I’ve been dealing with a lot lately – not the worst of times, just multiple difficult things at once – and this subject has been weighing on my mind.
We went on vacation to visit my in-laws, but it wasn’t really a vacation. We went because my father-in-law has major heart issues and dementia. He still knows who we are but he repeats himself over and over and has difficulty with memory. This was the most extreme we have seen it. We knew we needed to visit as he may not have much time left in the world. We had to take our puppy with us, which was a major stresser for me, taking care of her there and keeping her out of trouble. My hubby helped very little even though he had promised to help me out. I got little sleep as everyone stayed up till all hours of the night and I am a light sleeper and was also trying to keep the puppy calm. And it was me taking the puppy out potty at 6:30 am every morning in 17 degree snow flurries with a wind chill of 5 degrees. We couldn’t all go out together because of the puppy and my father-in-law. And my step-son was a real piece of work on this trip (long story for later). At one point I was lying in bed, in the dark, crying, feeling overwhelmingly unappreciated.
We got back and had to have our little puppy spayed, and now I have to keep her from playing and jumping, no easy fit with this particular puppy. And it seems I am the only one trying. She had it done on Valentine’s Day and while she was at the vet, I cleaned the floors and all her bedding, just trying to make things comfortable and sanitary for her. I was all sweaty when we went out to dinner. I never once got a thank you from my hubby.
In the middle of all this, my step-son finally got a job (he is 26 and has been in his room playing video games pretty much sense high school) and he doesn’t have a driver’s license, so when my husband is traveling for work, guess who gets to take our son back and forth to work? Yup – me! Screw whatever I have planned or need to do – I have to plan around a 26-year-old child! Sorry – that’s a tender issue for me.
I feel like I do so much for the people I love and none of it is appreciated or returned. It’s almost like people don’t like this quality about me. And no matter how many “I love you’s” I get, the words “thank you” genuinely said and felt would mean so much more. With my sisters, the words “I’m sorry” could change everything. Powerful words, with the power to heal. Why is that so hard?
This is me though. I can’t stop taking care of things, I can’t not get things done that need to be done. Sometimes I wish I could just let things go but I can’t – it’s who I am! I guess I just wish there was a “thank you” somewhere out there. And, oh, the value of “I’m sorry”…
(Image from Google Images)