Truth & Lies


There is something that has been on my mind for years now and it just came up again yesterday.  Here it is – why is it so hard for people to believe the truth, yet they will accept lies so willingly? Allow me to explain.

Years ago, before all the family drama and estrangements, my sister Sandy called me in tears. Her new husband apparently was comparing her sexually to his ex-wife and making my sister feel like crap. Wow – great man you got there, Sandy! Remember that this is the sister that met a man with some money and no longer needed to work, and also totally changed who she was to keep him. Anyway, Sandy had been having anxiety attacks, something I know from experience all too well. Well, two days after the phone call of tears, she called me at work and said that she was in the ER, possibly having a heart attack, and could I go be with her. WTF? Seriously? I knew in an instant it was an anxiety attack. And I also knew beyond any doubt that she knew damn well she wasn’t having a heart attack and she was just trying to get her husband’s attention and empathy.  How did I know this? Beyond just knowing my sister too well, she drove herself 20 minutes to a clinic instead of calling 911 and instead of driving the 5 minutes to the hospital. She also wasn’t scared on the phone at all. There was not a doubt in my mind that she was faking and playing it for all it was worth. I remember my first thought was that her husband was going to realize the truth and not be very happy – but no – he fell right into her trap. Of course, my understanding of him from others who know him was that he liked having a “yes” wife that he could control, and he had found that in my sister, so I think he gave in on purpose.

So, this story was the beginning of several medical issues my sister faked. And everyone, her husband and my family included, fell for it and oozed with empathy and compassion.  (Imagine me gagging right now). My mother, even now, always talks about Sandy and how ill she is, yet all Sandy’s social media posts and pictures are the model of vibrancy. So here is where I get irritated – my sister fakes it and gets all the support in the world; I am having real medical issues and no one believes me or they think it is all in my mind. How does this happen?  It doesn’t hurt me like it used to, it just makes me shake my head.

I have seen this with so many other things, even the family drama. Everyone believed all the lies and no one wanted to hear or accept the truth. Why is the truth so damn hard to believe?


4 thoughts on “Truth & Lies

  1. I think it’s also got something to do with our role in the family. We can’t all have the same, or similar role. She found that in that role of ill person, she and the family got sufficient of their needs met.
    Then you threw the balance into chaos, by seemingly challenging your sister for her role.
    The same happened to me. I was not in the ill role, but became so ill that I appeared to be challenging the other person’s role.
    It’s partly to do with the numerical position in the family. The oldest can’t be ill.
    I think that there is some level of light shed by using group theory on the family.

    Liked by 1 person

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