I am having one of those days. You know the ones – where for whatever reason, you start doubting and start feeling like a failure again. It’s a day when I wish I still had close family to talk to. I miss being able to have meaningful conversations with my mom or my sisters, but that has been gone for years now. Estrangement is a terrible thing and we are all different people now anyway. I have one real friend and my husband of course, but often they don’t truly understand and just tell me that everything will be okay or it’s not as bad as I think – so NOT what I need to hear in moments like this. I need to hear – “I understand” – “the way you are feeling is okay, it’s understandable” – “I’ll help you get through this”.
It’s one of those days where I wish I was more normal, more able to handle things in normal emotional ways. I am regretting not taking that job – oh, I would have been completely miserable working there which would have been a bad thing for me, but there are no other jobs out there so far and I am starting to worry. And then if I do get another job, what if I have issues with it too? God I just want to be more normal. I have been looking for “work from home” opportunities but they are few and far between, if they are not a scam that is.
You want to know the one and only thing I am jealous of with one of my sisters? She went and found herself a sugar-daddy husband and she doesn’t work anymore. I envy that. I would still do something though – volunteer or open my own business, but at least I wouldn’t have to work or be under someone else. Oh man, I sound so whiny today and for that I am sorry. I guess we are all allowed our bad days, as long as we come back from them.
Sometimes, I just need a hug I guess…
Thanks for your post. I completely understand how you feel. Hang in there, your time will come too….
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I know that day has passed but it is never too late for a hug so here you go for a big HUG. Men tend to offer solution when you talk about your problem and if they cannot comprehend what exactly the problem with the situation is they tell you its no big deal. Don’t misunderstand your friend or husband, they care and I know you know that too. But on a good day tell them that when you talk about your problem, more than them offering a solution to it; you just need them to hear you out. Tell them you don’t mind if it may not be solved or solved at a future date, all you need is them to be around to tell you that they are as much into facing it together as you are and you need not worry. Trust me we men are dumb when it comes to understanding how a woman feels and what she needs so please never hesitate pointing it out and NEVER think why do I need to point it out, can’t he understand by himself. Take my word for it he can’t. Most of us cannot.
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I appreciate your kind words my friend. I actually have explained that to my husband but I don’t think he knows how to be any different and I can’t fault him for that. It is one of the things I have learned to accept.
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I understand these feelings. And you are not whining. And even if you are, who cares? I certainly don’t mind.
I hope you’re feeling better and I hope you were able to get that hug somewhere. There’s nothing better for sure. Hang in there. (((Hug))) from afar.
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I also let go of my family for a while and lots of friends♡ You’really not alone ♡
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Doesn’t it seem more prevalent these days? I don’t know – maybe it’s just the way the word is going with more people being ME-centered than community (family and friend) centered. I think it is quick a loss…
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♡ I often wish to be more normal too. But not really.I think the gifts of sharing like you have here are better than normal. ♡ Love to you — Laurie
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You know, some days, many days, I feel like that too my dear friend. My hope is that at least those days can outweigh the bad. 😉
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Hang in there. You have so many people cheering for you!
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Thank you! 🙂
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“Far better off than I used to be, but some days…” So there with you. Sending positive vibes and major understanding. This is a virtual {{{hug}}} I love your authentic heart.
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Awe – thank you my dear! One day at a time, right? 🙂
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Hug coming your way!
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Thank you! 🙂
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You’re welcome!
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You sound so much like me. I hate working for someone else, and if I compromise on taking a job that is not exactly what I wanted, I usually end up regretting it.
If you want to talk to someone who is totally estranged from family and does understand what you are going through, I’d be willing to chat and help you sort it all out. Who knows? It might strengthen me as well.
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Thank you so much. It is a rough road to travel, isn’t it? I am far better off than I used to be, but some days…
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*hugs* We are all allowed our bad days. You are venting, not whining and that is what a blog is for.
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Thank you sweetness! 🙂
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