When “Happy Mother’s Day” Isn’t Happy

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Mother’s Day is supposed to be such a light, fun, cherished holiday… except for so many of us out there that have strained relationships. Every year for the past 6 years, buying a Mothers Day card for my mom has been difficult. I swear, the majority of cards talk about how much mom loved me, supported me, and what a wonderful role model she was. Um, no – not true of my mom. Maybe once upon a time she encompassed those qualities but not recently. I know I could just get one anyway but I don’t like lying. And so, I always eventually find a more generic card with a “have a great day” saying, usually 20 cards in before I find it. I even get her gifts now, all the while knowing that they will sit in a box in the corner of her apartment. Way to make me feel special, mom! But at least I try…

And then there is the other side, my son treats Mother’s Day as nothing. If anything, I get a Facebook message that says only, “Happy Mother’s Day”, no card, no gift, no phone call, not even a “how are you” attached to his message. And then I won’t get a message again until Christmas.

For me, Mother’s Day is a sad occasion. My husband and step-son try to make the most of it for me and for that I am so very thankful. But something will always be missing. I even told them I wanted to skip it one year; I just couldn’t take it. For me, it is only a reminder of what was, what is, and what could have been, what should have been.

Please, as you go about your weekend, please remember that not everyone has a good relationship with their mother, and not every child cares. Pass a smile to others. Give a genuine hug. Be thankful for what you have. You never know when your wold can be turned upside down. Please, cherish every moment.

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21 thoughts on “When “Happy Mother’s Day” Isn’t Happy

      1. Yes I agree. Both of my sisters have. The younger bartended 4 nights and hardly ever saw her son and she would get home and to sleep around 7am and her bf would drop her son off and he was running rampant around the house. The other has almost 9 year old twins still sleeping with her. But the grand plan here was get rid of the dogs and me and make sure the kids sleep in their room. But bc I have no outs at the moment I am riding this out and that has the kids back sleeping with her for no reason. She, her bf and their father and parents all spoil them to death. It is crazy.

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      2. Thank you and I am going under the knife for at least two areas and a whole lot more while all of this is happening, trying to find money that my mother earned as a whistle blower and get in touch with all the agencies that could help and all expended their funds, or I have to be with a regular 25 hour a week job, when I can’t work 15 and I have not said no to an offer and there has been slim pickings

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  1. Happy mothers day to you .. On a lighter note -if you don’t mind. I have a no buying card policy because I want to save our planets trees – not many people have a good relationship with one of our most important life sustainer’s – our mother planet. xxx I hope you can live in the moment with your family and enjoy being honoured as a mother in some way xx

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  2. Can’t tell you how much I can relate to this post. Especially what you said about choosing a Mother’s Day card. My Mother unfortunately chose a life of drugs over my sisters and I. Reading through the Mother’s Day cards which always say something like “You are such a strong woman”, “I wish to be a Mother like you” “Thank you for always being there”, etc is such a sad process. Because they don’t apply to her at all.

    I am so sorry to hear about your son, but happy to hear your step son tries his best to make you feel special. That’s really sweet of him. I’m personally sending you a big big hug!!

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    1. It’s supposed to be such a simple thing, right? I’m sorry you have to search and search for the right card too. I used to love holidays so much, but now they just aren’t the same, but I do the best I can. Hugs right back at ya my dear! 🙂

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  3. I am so sorry! Sending you many, many, many hugs! I wrote a blog yesterday about Mother’s Day as well! I lost my mother at the age of 15 and Mother’s Day has been LOATHED ever since. A day of anger for me. I agree with you. Give a hug and pass on a smile. ❤ ❤ ❤

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