Wow, wow, wow. Something interesting has happened, something good. What is it about finding validation that allows us to finally be able to breathe freely again? To be free of the weight suffocating our chests? I have spent the last 6 years wondering how no one else in my twisted family could see the truth. But now, this morning, I discovered that my brother sees more of the truth than I ever knew – oh, let the validation run over me!
Although I am completely estranged from my two sisters, I have some contact with my mother and brother, phone calls with my mom and emails with my brother from time to time, usually those have to do with my mom. It isn’t always easy, I have to work at these relationships, still feeling a little sting of what happened years ago. Yesterday, I posted a blog entry about whether or not I should discuss what happened years ago with my mom, if it would help our relationship or hurt it. Since my brother has been closest to my mom these last few years, I decided to ask for his advice, which was a big step for me. He wrote back an amazing email that gave me that last bit of peace I so needed.
He confirmed what I thought I knew, that our mother’s mind was slipping back then, that she was getting confused with who said what and would insist on her memory of things even though she was totally wrong. He also confirmed that our two sisters had a lot of influence over her at the time, bad influence, cruel influence. Reading his words, his validation, his knowledge of the truth, it set that last bit of my guilt and confusion free. I wish he would have stood up for me back then, but I don’t hold that against him. Each of us had our own demons to battle. My brother and I came through it, stronger on the other side. I just wish my sisters could do the same. They ripped our family apart – I sometimes wonder if deep inside, in a dark place where they would only admit it to themselves, was it worth it?
(Image taken from Google Images)