As many of you may or may not know from reading my blog, I have been having some medical issues. For about 7 months now, I have had constant pain in the lower back of my head. It is always there, just to varying levels between merely annoying to down right excruciating. When it is bad, it affects my daily activities. It is not a migraine or tension headache – I know what those feel like all too well. I have also developed some intermittent speech and typing difficulties: can’t find my words, use the wrong words, use the wrong tense of verbs, and I don’t type correctly or accurately anymore; I have to highly edit everything I type because I miss spaces, combine words, transpose letters or entire words, among other things. I also have hand tremors.
The results of my MRI came back and they are normal except for a congenital issue (I was born with it) called a developmental venous anomaly, which doesn’t cause symptoms and isn’t dangerous. The thing is, my doctors “think” it may be Occiptial Neuralgia (ON), which is damaged or inflamed nerves in the back of the head. It can show up on an MRI but of course did not show up on mine. I have doubts about this diagnosis because although I do have some of the symptoms, I have others as well and I also do not have some of the main symptoms that go along with ON. They can’t diagnose ON. I can get nerve block shots (steroids) to the back of my head and if it helps, than I probably have ON. What? Seriously?
I am beyond frustrated. Although I am thankful my MRI didn’t show anything, I was hoping for a definitive diagnosis. Instead, I got the “maybe’s” and “possibly’s”. I got, “let’s try shots to the back of your head!” There are risks that go with these shots, risks I may not want to take for a “maybe”. And even if it is ON, the shots don’t give permanent relief, I would have to keep getting more. I feel like I could just cry right now. Am I going to be one of those people I have always felt so badly for, the ones who live their lives in daily pain that can’t really be helped or truly relieved? Please tell me that after everything else I have been through that I will not now be cursed with this?
I am going to try to get my general health inline – diet and exercise, stretches and yoga, see if I can find some natural relief. I would love to get off the nerve and pain drugs they have me on. It’s just that I struggle with diet and exercise, always have. I know it will sound crazy unless you have been through it, but when I found out my MRI was clear, I was happy yet disappointed at the same time. I don’t want anything bad to be wrong with me, it’s just that not knowing the reason for my physical pain, the maybe and the possibly – that is my worst fear come true. I am starting to feel like I must be crazy…
(Image taken from Google Images)