Medical Woes & Frustration

sick-bear

As many of you may or may not know from reading my blog, I have been having some medical issues. For about 7 months now, I have had constant pain in the lower back of my head.  It is always there, just to varying levels between merely annoying to down right excruciating. When it is bad, it affects my daily activities. It is not a migraine or tension headache – I know what those feel like all too well. I have also developed some intermittent speech and typing difficulties: can’t find my words, use the wrong words, use the wrong tense of verbs, and I don’t type correctly or accurately anymore; I have to highly edit everything I type because I miss spaces, combine words, transpose letters or entire words, among other things. I also have hand tremors.

The results of my MRI came back and they are normal except for a congenital issue (I was born with it) called a developmental venous anomaly, which doesn’t cause symptoms and isn’t dangerous. The thing is, my doctors “think” it may be Occiptial Neuralgia (ON), which is damaged or inflamed nerves in the back of the head. It can show up on an MRI but of course did not show up on mine. I have doubts about this diagnosis because although I do have some of the symptoms, I have others as well and I also do not have some of the main symptoms that go along with ON. They can’t diagnose ON. I can get nerve block shots (steroids) to the back of my head and if it helps, than I probably have ON. What? Seriously?

I am beyond frustrated. Although I am thankful my MRI didn’t show anything, I was hoping for a definitive diagnosis. Instead, I got the “maybe’s” and “possibly’s”. I got,  “let’s try shots to the back of your head!”  There are risks that go with these shots, risks I may not want to take for a “maybe”.  And even if it is ON, the shots don’t give permanent relief, I would have to keep getting more. I feel like I could just cry right now. Am I going to be one of those people I have always felt so badly for, the ones who live their lives in daily pain that can’t really be helped or truly relieved? Please tell me that after everything else I have been through that I will not now be cursed with this?

I am going to try to get my general health inline – diet and exercise, stretches and yoga, see if I can find some natural relief. I would love to get off the nerve and pain drugs they have me on. It’s just that I struggle with diet and exercise, always have. I know it will sound crazy unless you have been through it, but when I found out my MRI was clear, I was happy yet disappointed at the same time. I don’t want anything bad to be wrong with me, it’s just that not knowing the reason for my physical pain, the maybe and the possibly – that is my worst fear come true. I am starting to feel like I must be crazy…

 

(Image taken from Google Images)

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20 thoughts on “Medical Woes & Frustration

  1. This is a different tact, but symptoms generally parallel spiritual conditions. What part of your life is currently a “headache”? One can always work to alleviate suffering from this angle.
    I used to have a stabbing pain in my back frequently until I found out who was “stabbing me in the back” metaphorically. Once I found out who it was and put an end to it, the back pain dissolved as well.
    The hand twitch is curious. I use a wireless mouse. If I hold my hand on it for extended periods of time it makes my hand muscles twitch. Ditto with the cell phone. So I try to keep my hands off these unless necessary. Our bodies are electromagnetic units after all.
    Shots to the back of the head??? I’m not so sure I’d be going there.

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  2. It is frustrating when you don’t get a clear diagnosis especially after all you have gone through and the risks asc. with trying new medications. It’s har to advice what to do but writing about it and getting -(hopefully) support from people helps the frustration. Unfortunately there are so many illnesses with over lapping symptoms. You are brave and as hard as it is -I can only echo what everyone else has said. Keep going xx

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  3. So happy the MRI was clear but sorry there was no clear diagnosis. That is a toughie! It so often seems that way these days (maybe because of the amount of new drugs etc. we accumulate in our bodies that tend to fritz things up.)
    I had my own run in with one a couple of years back when for the third time I lost access to most of my memory (could only remember the first bit of my address even) shaking and repeating myself for about 2 hours. They tested everything but basically couldn’t say what it was. It was reassuring that actually I was in tip top shape in every area for my age, but like you I desperately wanted to know “what’s wrong”? Thankfully I wasn’t in pain but its worrying not knowing, could it happen again? Should I take care of my grand-kids? What if? etc. etc.
    In the end I wound up making a definite choice to just trust God for it. He was the only doctor who’d know for sure what to do. I also decided to launch an all out attack on areas of my life style that had slipped somewhat (yes the dreaded healthy eating and exercise lol!)
    I’ve always felt there are 3 circles of healing the easiest and smallest, western medicine, requires very little of the patient. Next natural healing, a far bigger circle encompassing things pills don’t fix, but requiring long term self effort and discipline. Finally there’s miraculous healing that encompasses everything (but takes great faith on someone’s part.)
    I’ve been privileged to be part of a lot of miracle healings from from little, possibly explainable, ones, to the totally incomprehensible. Sometimes when I can’t go the easy route I suspect God is requiring more of me. He doesn’t want me to ever loose the faith to pray down a miracle when needed. God’s intolerable compliments!
    We all like to take the easy route, it’s human nature, but sometimes, as with the fear battles, the harder route pays off in the end.
    I think you are right to try to eat healthy etc. I’d suggest also getting out in nature for the exercise bit (nothing like trees and water to sooth the mind) and to generally bathe in positivity in your in put. Perhaps you’ll even hear that still small voice saying, how much He’s missed you.

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  4. I can’t imagine how you feel. I got really frustrated when I was going through the diagnosis process for my endometriosis and that WASN’T IN MY HEAD. I would FREAK at the thought of shots in my head/neck as well. Are there any other options? What happens if you don’t try the shots? Can you get a second opinion? Or even a third opinion? My mom had great success at a holistic doctor but that’s NOT for everyone (and she wasn’t having head/neck pains either). Hope things clear up for you soon. Hugs.

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    1. I have read up on it quite a bit and it seems the only way to confirm such a diagnosis is to see if the shots help. But I AM going to try the natural approach and change my diet and exercise more – I just have to get myself to do it. HUGS!! And I hope you are handling your medical issue well!

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  5. Well first off I’m very happy that there isn’t something very bad going on. That’s a plus. But I do understand the frustrations of the not knowing why the pain. Stay positive, and get a second opinion. When it comes to health, always a second opinion is preferable.

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