Life Doesn’t Have To Be Grand


I had an epiphany in the middle of the night last night. I had a wisdom tooth pulled yesterday which caused me to have a restless nights sleep. I woke up at 2 am and couldn’t get back to sleep for a while. It’s funny how our thoughts go from one thing to the next in the still darkness of the night.

Somewhere in the middle of all the rotating thoughts, I realized that I don’t have to have a grand life. I always thought I would, always had people pointing out that I was the one in my family who would go out and do it all. Frankly, that’s a lot of stress to put on a child. Imagine when I realized that my life didn’t turn out grand at all; in fact it’s pretty average. It used to bug me, but then I started noticing that many people just pretend to have a grand life.

I’ll take one of my sisters as an example. A couple years ago, before I had faced my family and moved on, I did a Google search on Sandy. I very rarely ever did this and I never looked for her on Facebook or other social media. Honestly, if I searched for her, it was more to see if I could find any information about my son. Well, something came up in the search that said she was a blogger and implied by her wording that she owned a book store. This hit me hard – I was the reader in the family and my dream had always been to own a little book store. Well, come to find out that her blog is her “book store”. I’ve never seen anyone call themselves an owner of a blog. Then I find out she isn’t even writing on the blog. It’s a blog that promotes romance (smut) book authors and their new books coming out. Her posts simply repost third-party reviews or show the book covers or share upcoming author signing events. Nothing is original or written by her, not even her own reviews.

I will say that her blog does have a following and all the more power to her. She doesn’t work and spends a lot of time at home so it’s good for her to have a hobby, a creative outlet. I’m actually proud of her for doing something. I just don’t get it though – peddling smut books. Now I will admit, I have read the Fifty Shades of Grey series. The first book was great; it was different and exciting. But by the second and third book, I was bored. I can’t even imagine reading book after book after book like this – a hiddenly awesome woman gets saved by a handsome, does everything right, prince of a perfect man. This is not the real world; it’s pure fantasy.

I know my sister is in a not-so-great marriage; he treats her badly sometimes. I worry about women who read so many of these types of books. It probably isn’t helping any marriages, comparing real life husbands to the perfect men of a fictional world. To me, there is a difference between a romance novel and a smut novel. I have read some romance novels that of course had some sex, but it was between two people, usually both with damaged lives who have found strength and healing through each other. Smut romance on the other hand is more like the old Harlequin romance novels, sex and a perfect guy saving a girl.  And here is my thought – if your marriage is happy, are you reading these smut books (Fifty Shades being the exception)?

OK, I got off the subject a little. The thing is, my sister’s life isn’t grand either, even though she tries to portray that it is. And here is my late night realization: my life doesn’t have to be grand as long as I am happy. I think very few lives are truly grand. But what is “grand”? Is it being rich and famous? Is it loving your spouse and children and enjoying time together? Is it caring about others and reaching out to help them, to make a difference in a life or in the world? Maybe my life is grand after all, maybe each of our lives is grand in its own way. We just have to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else.


(Image taken from Google Images)


6 thoughts on “Life Doesn’t Have To Be Grand

      1. It’s hard (for me anyway) not to make those comparisons and end up feeling negative, but recognising that it’s happening is definitely a step in the right direction.

        Liked by 1 person

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