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I am finally getting back to sharing some of my favorite and most meaningful passages from novels I have read:
“Silence is a protective coating over pain.” (We Were Liars) – I know this all too well unfortunately. Silence didn’t become my protector until the pain had gotten unbearable, too much to take. It protected me from the pain but ultimately led me to anger and rage. Trust me when I say that pain can’t be overlooked for too long.
“But when I looked for good, evil came; And when I waited for the light, darkness came.” (Me Since You) – Wow, this one really touched me. I looked for good in my family and found an evil that I still can’t make sense out of completely. And when I turned to God to find his light, all I have found, thus far, is darkness. I know that sounds harsh but it was and still is to some degree very much my reality. Pain can rip out our inner most beliefs. I am trying to find them again…
“There are two ways to be fooled: One is to believe what isn’t so; the other is to refuse to believe what is so.” (Me Before You) – If this isn’t the struggle of life than I don’t know what is. It’s what I posted about yesterday – the liars versus the truth tellers, the good versus the bad. To believe what isn’t so – I spent years having only my imagination to wonder what my family had done to me and my son and why. When you don’t have knowledge or details, the mind can run rampant with worst case scenarios – I know mine did! I know that what I was thinking was exaggerated in my mind, but there was also some truth somewhere in it, a truth I may never know. To refuse to believe what is so – I also did this for a long time – with my son. But I have finally accepted the truth of our current estranged relationship; I won’t lie to myself anymore.
“Grief…You can’t hide from it. There is no over, under or around it. No avoiding it. It will stay until you make your way through it.” (Me Since You) – I have written so much about this very thing that I will only say – YES! There is more truth in this than most realizes. It will not go away on its own; it cannot be swallowed or hidden. One day, it will come out unless you deal with it head on.
“Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.” (Me Since You) – I think this is one of the most heart-felt yet sad things I have ever read. I think it touched me closer than I wanted it to. I have lived this quote, had my hope taken away by those who were supposed to love me unconditionally. It’s for this reason that I try to give people hope, no matter what.
“I’m stuck in the middle of it and I still don’t understand it, hate the endless speculation, the fact that I’ll never know anything again for sure.” (Me Since You) – This is exactly what my family did to me – I will never truly be able to trust anyone ever again. How can I trust anyone else when my own flesh and blood tore my heart out and crushed my spirit? I am getting my life back and my outlook is so much brighter but I still have terrible issues with trust and I think I always will. It’s my defense mechanism now.
“But you can’t get away from yourself. You can’t decide not to see yourself anymore. You can’t decide to turn off the noise in your head.” (Thirteen Reasons Why) – So true. We can lie to ourselves, we can fight against it, but deep inside, we know the truth. And that noise, sometimes it is so very hard to turn off. All I know is this – once you face yourself, you can start healing and start moving forward to something better.
“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life.” (Thirteen Reasons Why) – This chokes me up every single time I read it. I see so much truth in it, I see so much of myself in it. This passage is why I have never wanted revenge against those who have hurt me. I have had my life messed with, my son’s life messed with, and the ripple effect into both our lives has been enormous. In wanting to make their lives better, in order to feel better about themselves, my abusers changed my life forever, changed my son’s life forever. STOP! Stop messing with the lives of others – you don’t have the right!! Sorry – but that just rose to the surface and needed to be let out…
“There are things in life that are done to you that scar your soul.” (The Boys Of The Dark: A Story of Betrayal and Redemption in the Deep South) – And this goes right back to the last one. I have always known a heart can be broken, but I never knew a soul could be scarred till the last few years, that a spirit could be crushed. It took 30 years for the abuse of my childhood and the cruel actions of my family to crush my spirit – it was a delayed reaction for me. The odd thing is, I never would have found myself had it not been for all that. I was hiding for most my life and now I don’t want to anymore. I can’t change what was done to me but I can change how I allow it to affect me, how I perceive things, how I walk forward. And I want a better life, I deserve one!
“The hardened exterior had apparently been a cover for the fragile soul underneath.” (The Boys Of The Dark: A Story of Betrayal and Redemption in the Deep South) – Is this not most of us, of those who have been abused, abandoned or knocked down? We all have a fragile soul; it’s the soul of a frightened child that will always be a part of us. The problem is, we have to break down that hardened exterior and let people in, let love in. Yes, we risk losing everything but we also risk never gaining anything, never feeling anything wonderful. We each deserve to find our own place in this world and we deserve love and support. I hope we can all find our way there. ❤
I would love to see some of your favorite literary passages and what they mean to you!