It is day three of this new year and I am struggling to figure out how I am feeling. It’s why I hadn’t posted in this new year yet – I felt all discombobulated! Since about 9:00 pm on New Years Eve, I have felt odd, emotional. Well, not really emotional but moreso that I can’t figure out the emotion I have been experiencing. At first, that night, I thought it was grief over going into a new year without our precious little dog that passed away in December. It just doesn’t seem right going into a new year without him – he should be here, with us. But then the feeling continued past that night. I know that my family and I have some major life changes in the next few months and that could be making me nervous. But it could be neither of these or even both, or even something I haven’t figured out yet.
I guess I don’t need to figure it out. I do, however, need to not let it get me down, not keep me in a negative mindset. My New Year’s Resolution was to be more in the present, more aware of where my mind is and why it is there. I am trying to do that now. I guess being in the moment doesn’t mean finding all the answers – it means allowing myself to feel whatever I am feeling but then being aware of it, not so much of what is causing it but of how it is affecting me and my mood and my thought process.
I have to laugh when I hear or read that we should make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. I don’t laugh because I think it’s crazy but because I know all too well how difficult of a task that really is. I know it to be true though and I am going into this year willing to try.
I have spent so much of my life living in the past and I just don’t want to do that anymore. It only harms me and doesn’t allow me to actually live. Life is short and I want to get something out of it. I deserve to get something out of it. This is the year that I am going to take back control and start making that happen. I hope you will too! 🙂