Sometimes I read posts of others that break my heart. I have read a few posts here and there about not wanting to live anymore, wanting to die. This breaks my heart more than words can say. I have been there; I have contemplated suicide. I was at such a low point in my life, so many people had hurt me, people that were supposed to love me the most hurt me the worst! Nothing anyone said helped – I hated all that “positive”crap people tried to tell me, as if simple words would lift me from the pit and bring me back from the edge.
It saddens me because there is always someone out there that cares, whether we can see it or not. I have seen what someone’s suicide has done to those left behind and it is tragic. Yet at the same time, I know and understand the pain and loneliness that leads to suicide. I know how hard it is to break through that shell. No one broke through mine – I had to break through it myself. I had to realize that I had value, a value I needed to find in myself, no one else was going to release it for me. I think for me, I wanted to prove to everyone, to the world, that they wouldn’t break me, they wouldn’t get the best of me – I was NOT going to let them win! That’s where my power began, where my strength and courage began to grow.
Please, to anyone with those thoughts in your head, please reach out, wait and reach out. I am hear – I understand – I care! And I am willing to bet that others do too if you just let yourself try to see it, to see past the pain blinding your eyes. I know it’s hard, I KNOW it! We all have value in this life, even if we aren’t aware of it yet. I found mine and I can tell you that I am so happy that I held on. Please hold on! HUGS!!!