The Woes of Fake Reconciliation

I almost titled this, “Sometimes I Think My Son Is Just A Dick” but then I thought better of it. That’s just emotion and frustration speaking. I don’t know why my son even bothered to “reconcile” with me since, as it turns out, he has hardly reconciled. He is all words (lies), no action – the story of my life.

I spoke with my mother last week, to tell her about our ailing doggie, and she told me that my son and his new wife found a house but it won’t be ready for three months. So, in the mean time – ready for this? – they are living with my sister Sandy! Apparently my son called his grandmother on Thanksgiving but not his own mother. He messaged “Happy Thanksgiving” via Facebook but only after I messaged him. And he is living with my sister? The one, in fact, who helped turn him away from me.

I tried to be the better person. Since I don’t have contact info for him other than Facebook, I messaged him that I heard he was staying with Sandy and that I was glad he was at least with family (bleck, gag – trying not to vomit) and could he please send me his phone number so we can chat. No response – but I could tell he read it. Nice, huh?  And then, I messaged him letting him know we were probably going to have to put our family dog down soon.  Again, he read it but did not respond.

What kind of person does that?  No “sorry mom”, no nothing. My son is a dick!  Please don’t get mad at me for saying that – unless you have dealt with estrangement, you have know idea what parents who didn’t deserve it go through. He clearly does not want reconciliation. I don’t know why he wanted me at his wedding.  Was it so he didn’t have to answer questions about his missing mother?  I mean, what was the point? Either tell the truth or leave me alone! I am so done with liars and game-players. Life is so much more than that.

I wasn’t really phased at his living with my sister – didn’t surprise me at all. Just one more move in my sisters’ game that I can’t even believe they are still playing – grow up already. It did get to me that he didn’t even respond to the message about our poor little doggie – that’s pretty damn heartless if you ask me. I am wondering how much longer I will even try with him…

 

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12 thoughts on “The Woes of Fake Reconciliation

  1. Less than a year ago my son disowned me. The image I had for awhile was of a chicken running around with its head cut off. I am not blameless, but he didn’t offer me the opportunity to explain. I am sad that his response to feeling hurt by me is to hurt me back. He’ll always be my son, though he will no longer claim me as his mother.
    Our family woes are a little different, but maybe not that much. I can’t be bitter. It eats me up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It’s not really pain so much anymore, although some of it always will be. I think I am more just frustrated and irritated by his complete lack of honesty or concern. That is not how I raised him at all. If he wants me out of of his life, that is fine. It would hurt but I can accept it after all this time and all that has happened. It’s the stringing me along and lying to me that I find reprehensible.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry. I know you sound angry. But that just melts into hurt. Betrayed by the only ones that matter/ed. I know that all too well. I’m wishing you peace of mind. I wish that for myself everyday.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I have felt it all – anger, hurt, frustration, betrayal, etc. But I have let a lot of that go – so much time has passed and he clearly isn’t changing and there is nothing I can do to change that. Hopefully both you and I will be in a better place one day, living with a certain amount of peace. HUGS to you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ugh, this is the last thing you needed right now. :(. I agree, it’s pretty heartless of him to not even respond when you messaged about your pup. Sounds like a pretty stress laden relationship all around.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It is stressful, for me. He likes to think, or so he says, that nothing is wrong. I think he just can’t face whatever it is he has going on inside himself right now, or the people who lied to him about me. I hope he grows up someday.

      Liked by 1 person

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