I am so very mad right now. I don’t watch Dr. Phil’s TV show but it happened to be the channel it was on when I turned the TV on. The subject matter immediately caught my attention: a mother has been telling her daughter for 16 years that her father molested her when she was a toddler.
The father denies it. The police found no evidence of abuse. Schools and peers believe the abuse didn’t happen and that the mother, instead, was making things up or making huge exaggerations. Okay – it had my attention! The father took a polygraph, administered by a well-known ex-FBI agent considered the best at giving and interpreting polygraphs, and he passed with flying colors. It brought the father to tears of relief. When Dr. Phil asked if he was glad the public finally knows the truth, the father said that he didn’t care about that, he only cared about his daughter finally knowing the truth. In a moment that both stunned and saddened me, the daughter sided with her mother still and stated she knows her mother isn’t lying to her. Her mother then took a polygraph and failed.
I guess this touched a nerve with me because I ended up in tears, tears for the pain of the father and tears for the pain of the daughter. Parental alienation (turning a child against another parent) is tragic! My son’s father did this to me, not by using accusations of abuse but by lying about me over and over again to our son. And just like the daughter above, when finally faced with physical proof otherwise, my son still believes his father.
Don’t these people realize that by using their child to hurt their ex, they are also hurting their child?? It is such an unnecessary pain, such a cruel pain. Lives are being ruined! And as someone who was molested as a child, it makes me livid when people falsely accuse others of this.
I wish it was easier for children to see through the lies, to see the parent that actually does care. They are being robbed of relationships they deserve, relationships that will never again be the same, lives that are forever changes, all due to someone else’s selfishness and insecurity.
For any children and adult children of parental alienation reading this – my heart is with you! I know it can be difficult to know who is telling the truth. Try to go with your heart while also considering logic and common sense. And for the alienated parent, those like me, press on my friends. We can only do so much before having to accept how things are, for now. We have to hope our children eventually will come around to and realize the truth. Until then, realize that you deserve a life, deserve to live and find joy where you can. I am with you!