I just got the news that my precious, little doggie has cancer. Three tumors – 2 small ones and then one big one taking up half of his liver. We maybe have 6 months to a year if we are lucky. It depends on how fast it progresses and then quality of life issues once it comes to that.
I refused to cry in the vet’s office – I can’t let anyone see me hurting. I cried like hell when I got to the car and then on the drive home. But even then, I had to pull myself together so my step-son wouldn’t see. I am waiting till his father gets home tonight so we can tell him together.
I’m so angry! Both for my dog and for me – I can believe I’m going to lose something else in my life – I have so little left! And it’s bringing up memories of my father’s death – the one I still haven’t truly dealt with. I’m afraid this loss, when it comes, will break me. I need to be strong going into the wedding next week but here I am in a pain I don’t know how to deal with.
I feel like fate or destiny or whatever the hell you call it keeps slapping me in the face, over and over again! And I don’t know what I ever did to deserve it. I’m just so tired…