Missing My Father

It’s my father’s birthday today – he would have been 75 years old.  Remembering him and thinking about him instantly chokes me up, but I hold back the tears – I won’t let myself feel it. It’s been 4 years since we took him off life support and I still won’t let myself really feel it. … More Missing My Father

Binge Eating Disorder

It has been well-publicized that many survivors of childhood sexual abuse develop eating disorders – mine is B.E.D. – Binge Eating Disorder. I am an emotional/stress eater, which means my weight, and therefore my self-esteem, has been up and down my entire life. I eat when I am happy, sad, angry, anxious – you get … More Binge Eating Disorder

The World of Pretend

It’s amazing the ability some people have to pretend. It’s something we learn in childhood and as adults, we are all guilty of it at one time or another. Even I pretend – every time I smile or laugh in public, I am pretending that terrible, life-changing events never happened to me.  When someone I’m not close … More The World of Pretend

Thoughts On Therapy

My opinion is a little skewed when it comes to therapy.  I know I could probably benefit from it after everything I have been through but my short-lived experiences with it have left me cold and skeptical. First experience – I was about 14 when my mother insisted I see a therapist. I honestly don’t remember … More Thoughts On Therapy

A Vivid Flashback

I will be making a few posts about my experience with flashbacks.  Most of my flashbacks are feelings, not actual memories (see my post: The Many Faces of Flashbacks”).  However, I had a very vivid memory once and it was terrible.  I was at a women’s retreat (that helps women deal with abuse and other … More A Vivid Flashback