I have been asked if I have any phobias – yes, I most certainly do. Some are normal – fear of heights, fear of bugs, typical things like that. But I have some others that truly affect my life, some of which I believe stem from the abuse in my childhood. I used to say … More Oh Phobia, My Phobia
It’s my father’s birthday today – he would have been 75 years old. Remembering him and thinking about him instantly chokes me up, but I hold back the tears – I won’t let myself feel it. It’s been 4 years since we took him off life support and I still won’t let myself really feel it. … More Missing My Father
It has been well-publicized that many survivors of childhood sexual abuse develop eating disorders – mine is B.E.D. – Binge Eating Disorder. I am an emotional/stress eater, which means my weight, and therefore my self-esteem, has been up and down my entire life. I eat when I am happy, sad, angry, anxious – you get … More Binge Eating Disorder
I so appreciate all my followers and the wonderful conversations taking place and the gentle advice you all have offered. It is comforting to know I am not alone and that we are all here to help each other. I have done a lot of research on the things I have been through but I would also like … More What would YOU like to discuss?
I have been having a health issue for a couple months now – the lower to middle back of my head has been very sore and tender, sometimes feeling a burning pressure. This is not headache pain as I know what that feels like. I also have a stiff/sore upper neck that hurts to turn … More Physical Pain From Emotional Stress?
It’s amazing the ability some people have to pretend. It’s something we learn in childhood and as adults, we are all guilty of it at one time or another. Even I pretend – every time I smile or laugh in public, I am pretending that terrible, life-changing events never happened to me. When someone I’m not close … More The World of Pretend
This post is one of a sudden realization – have I been lying to myself? I have been happy for a while now, not perfectly happy but happy with where I am at and what my life has become. I have a certain acceptance of the estrangements in my life. I have lost weight and … More Am I Lying To Myself?
My opinion is a little skewed when it comes to therapy. I know I could probably benefit from it after everything I have been through but my short-lived experiences with it have left me cold and skeptical. First experience – I was about 14 when my mother insisted I see a therapist. I honestly don’t remember … More Thoughts On Therapy
I will be making a few posts about my experience with flashbacks. Most of my flashbacks are feelings, not actual memories (see my post: The Many Faces of Flashbacks”). However, I had a very vivid memory once and it was terrible. I was at a women’s retreat (that helps women deal with abuse and other … More A Vivid Flashback
In its’ simplest definition, flashbacks are defined as “a sudden and disturbing vivid memory of an event in the past, typically as the result of psychological trauma”. For most of my life, I thought I didn’t experience this. Based on this simple definition, it was one affect of incest and CPTSD that hadn’t gotten to … More The Many Faces of Flashbacks