The last five years have been a mix of emotions, a bit of a roller coaster ride. After the moving incident with my parents, my family slowly pushed me further away. I still don’t know what I did to deserve it. Since when is supporting your parents’ health such a terrible, repulsive thing?
I never heard from my sister, Sandy, again. Well, actually, that’s not quite true. She made one post to my Facebook page, liking a photo of the color we painted our bathroom. So, wait a minute – hang up on me, go behind my back, don’t call or speak to me, but post on my social media? Seriously? It just irritated me and I didn’t comment back. Then a few months after my parents decided not to move (and my family and I stayed away from the family holiday gatherings), I got a text from her. She said that she wanted to fix things and that she knew she handled the thing with my parents badly. She didn’t quite apologize for treating my like shit though. But, she was my sister and I text her back that we could try. On her birthday, I text her “Happy Birthday”. I never got anything back from her till a phone call a week or two later and all she called for was to get my medical history because she was ill and the doctor wanted her family history. She didn’t ask anything about me at all, just took the information and said “bye”. I never heard from her again! She didn’t want to fix our relationship – she just used me for information she needed. I was done with her.
I stopped calling my parents and it seemed like they had stopped calling me, or at least my mom had. My dad emailed me and told me that he didn’t know what was going on but that he loved me. Then one day my mom called to ask what had happened between Sandy and I, that Sandy had no idea why I wouldn’t talk to her. Excuse me? I think you have that backwards, mom! Okay, I thought to that myself but didn’t say it out loud. What I did say was something like, “Mom, she knows exactly what she did – she even text me all about it and somewhat apologized.” My mother’s response? “Well she says she doesn’t know why. And I just don’t know what you did to her.” What more could I say? So I can offer proof to my mother and yet she will choose to believe my sister rather than me anyway? I knew then that I had actually become the outcast of the family.
On another call, she was mad at me for being so distant and told me that I have never told them what was going on. Clearly she had heard Sandy’s side. And 2 sentences later, she stated they her and my dad didn’t want to get involved. What? So she was mad that I hadn’t told her anything but they also didn’t want to get involved but they were getting involved listening to Sandy’s side, a side which simply could not have contained the truth. What a bunch of hypocrites!
After I got the call from my mom where she accused me of just wanting them gone so I could be free of taking care of them (see post: The Beginning of Family Estrangement), I knew it was over – I would be part of the family no more. They had cast me out, and I would choose to stay out. Sharon and I hadn’t spoken in years, so that was no big deal. My brother and I rarely spoke anyway. But to lose my parents and Sandy – that hurt. And it hurt that my parents and brother, the ones who should have known the type of person I was, they took in my sisters’ lies without question. Not one single person in my family, other than my mom which was always hostile, ever called me to talk and find out what was going on. No one thought to think to themselves – hmm, that doesn’t sound like Sarah at all! Nope – somehow I guess I had turned into a terrible person, at least in their minds.
As if that didn’t break my heart enough, what Sandy and Sharon would do next would break down even the strongest of people.